Welcome summer!

For the last 3 years we have buzzed the boys heads at the start of summer. This year, Steve thought it would be fun to stop half way. Landon has been loving the faux-hawk this year. As Steve started the buzz, they decided it would be fun to do a real Mohawk. They were so excited about them, we made the rounds around the neighborhood to show off their new do's, but much to their dismay, not one single friend answered the door. We did bump into one friend, so they were excited, but as we walked up the driveway, mommy decided those Mohawks had to go. The buzz was finished and now we are ready for summer.

Kindergarten Graduation

Who knew Kindergarten graduation was such a big deal? He had worn the cap and gown and received a diploma and now we officially have a 1st grader. It was really cute how big of a deal they did make of this milestone at his school. We are so proud of Landon. He is doing wonderful with his reading, writing, counting, addition, subtraction, and so many other skills. I have been terrible about working with him on anything at home this year, but somehow he managed to learn every bit of what he needed to move on to 1st grade. I couldn't be prouder of him. He has always received rave reviews from his teachers and has always exceeded the expectation of him for anything given. We are grateful for the school that he attended. There was such a special feel to the environment there. We are not fully committed to anything for next year, but we will see how the summer goes and we will hopefully have peace with whatever we decide. Go Landon!

Cohen's last day of 3's Preschool

This was a great year at preschool for Cohen. He made some big strides in his learning. He is finally getting the hang of using the scissors, tracing his name, and learning his letters and sounds. It is hard to believe that he only has one more year and he will be in Kindergarten. He loved his teachers this year, Mrs. Fritz and Mrs. Day. He also had one of his best buddies in his class, Maverik. We have loved his school and are excited to see him grow this next year. We aren't sure if he will be doing the pre-K program Landon did or just a 4's preschool, but whatever it is, he will do great. We just need to keep developing those fine motor skills (or so they say!).

T-Ball 2010

I'm not sure why we didn't sign Landon up for machine pitch baseball this year, other than him playing with his friends. He played with the same school team as he did last year. I don't think he ever hit off the tee, and he was bombing those he hit to the outfield. He did amazing. I still don't think this is his favorite sport, but he did great and seemed to have a lot of fun. Grey and Cohen always had a blast going to the games. Grey seemed to stay happy most every game and was content just chillin' in one of the chairs or wandering around playing in the dirt. Cohen loved watching Landon and almost always had his skateboard, scooter or bike to play on while he waited out the game. Plus we usually broke down at some point and hit the snack bar. It was a great season.

Grandma

On May 18th our family suffered one of the greatest losses we will ever know. After a 6 month fight, Grandma Carter passed away. I know that in time that this will get easier, but for now, I just don't know when. Steve's mom was closer to me than my own mom in so many ways. We talked on the phone almost every day. She shared in the joys and struggles that I had being a mother. She was always the second person I shared things with, only after things were shared with Steve. I called her when I was happy and when I was sad. I called her when each of my children made another milestone in their lives. She was an incredible listener. She was so easy to talk to and cared so deeply for my family.

I sit and think of the injustice it is that I will have to live my life without her. That my children will have to live their lives without her. That the moments that they shared with her up to this point, will likely be forgotten. That they will never get to sit on her lap again and have her read to them. That she will never get to lay in their bed and scratch their back until they have been asleep for longer than she needed to stay. That the love in her eyes will never be seen again.

I know the religious side of death should bring peace, but in times of tragedy, it's not that we forget these things, its just that it seems that our God is an unfair God. That He lets people stay on this earth that are evil, and that one of the most amazing women I will ever know, He took too early. It just doesn't seem fair.

I know that someday there will be peace. I know that someday, I won't miss her every second. That it won't still be a habit to try and pick up the phone to call her. That the memories of seeing her lifeless body will fade and the memories of the wonderful times spent will be easier to recall. But right now, that's not the case. Right now, life sucks. Right now, I want her to see Landon graduate from Kindergarten. I want her to not have missed Greyson's 1st birthday. I want her to answer when I call so I can tell her what new things that the boys are doing. I want her to come and sit on the couch and visit with me for a week straight when Steve is out of town and I am home alone as usual. I want her back. I want life to not be so unfair.

I am grateful she is no longer suffering. I am grateful I know that she lived the kind of life that allowed her to return to Heavenly Father. I just wish that the knowledge of these things made my loss easier. That is made our families loss easier.